I’m going through some weird/hard days

Mostly regarding my mom

And of course 

This all LA vs Israel is again at the top of my mind

I’m in Israel nowaday,

And today I came to work/write at Florentin

I came to this coffee place I already know

It’s so much fun here

Chill

Relaxing

Inspiring 

Well, I got my coffee ready

And right after ran into a friend of mine

We had little small talk

And somehow

Very surprisingly

We got to this all La vs Israel thing

Again 

So he asked me if I live here now,

Or am I going back to LA for good?

and I mumbled for a bit 

And then just said 

“You know what? 

Actually, 

I have no idea what I’m gonna do”

And then he and this girl that was with him just said together 

“You really don’t have to!’

And it felt so good!

It’s like I needed someone elses opinion 

Someone I’m not constantly consulting with

Neutral person 

Even more than my therapist

To tell me 

You’re ok

Take your time

Don’t be so hard on yourself 

Yes 

This little response said all that to me

And it felt good

It’s like getting a validation for not needing any validation

Ah! That’s huge!

And when you think about it

That’s such a waste of energy

Caring or even waiting for someone else’s validation

For what?

If you’ll ask 10 people what they think

you’ll have 10 different ways of looking at the situation

And it all will depend on their mood

Yes! 

Exactly

Their fucking mood

Not even what they would really do

Of course some of their past experiences will affect it 

But it will all comes down to 

Just their mood

If they had a great morning 

Or even had time for a quickie 

Then for sure, they would be in a great mood

All positive and happy

Same thing the other way around

Bad fight

Or even just a fucked up morning

Totally different approach 

You see

Eventually, we go to sleep with ourselves at night 

Even if we are lucky enough to have a loved one in our bed

it’s still not their job to make sure you’re happy or not

They are there to spoil what’s already great with you

Lift you up

Love you

But you

You need to make sure you are happy

Every day

Every night 

I know it all sounds like a cliche

But let me give you another one 

When you experience it you’ll know

You’ll know it all true

And it feels great

I’ve been there 

I’m sure you did too

Even if just for a little while

Once you know the feeling 

You can recreate it

It’s that simple 

And here is me

Me letting go of my need for validation

Posting this new blog

After too long that I haven’t posted nothing here

Here is me

Me facing my fear

And letting it go

Cause why not?

Who cares 😉