I’m going through some weird/hard days
Mostly regarding my mom
And of course
This all LA vs Israel is again at the top of my mind
I’m in Israel nowadays
And today I came to work/write at Florentin
I came to this coffee place I already know
It’s so much fun here
Chill
Relaxing
Inspiring
Well, I got my coffee ready
And right after ran into a friend of mine
We had little small talk
And somehow
Very surprisingly
We got to this all La vs Israel thing
Again
So he asked me if I live here now,
Or am I going back to LA for good?
and I mumbled for a bit
And then just said
“You know what?
Actually,
I have no idea what I’m gonna do”
And then he and this girl that was with him just said together
“You really don’t have to!’
And it felt so good!
It’s like I needed someone elses opinion
Someone I’m not constantly consulting with
Neutral person
Even more than my therapist
To tell me
You’re ok
Take your time
Don’t be so hard on yourself
Yes
This little response said all that to me
And it felt good
It’s like getting a validation for not needing any validation
Ah! That’s huge!
And when you think about it
That’s such a waste of energy
Caring or even waiting for someone else’s validation
For what?
If you’ll ask 10 people what they think
you’ll have 10 different ways of looking at the situation
And it all will depend on their mood
Yes!
Exactly
Their fucking mood
Not even what they would really do
Of course some of their past experiences will affect it
But it will all comes down to
Just their mood
If they had a great morning
Or even had time for a quickie
Then for sure, they would be in a great mood
All positive and happy
Same thing the other way around
Bad fight
Or even just a fucked up morning
Totally different approach
You see
Eventually, we go to sleep with ourselves at night
Even if we are lucky enough to have a loved one in our bed
it’s still not their job to make sure you’re happy or not
They are there to spoil what’s already great with you
Lift you up
Love you
But you
You need to make sure you are happy
Every day
Every night
I know it all sounds like a cliche
But let me give you another one
When you experience it you’ll know
You’ll know it all true
And it feels great
I’ve been there
I’m sure you did too
Even if just for a little while
Once you know the feeling
You can recreate it
It’s that simple
And here is me
Me letting go of my need for validation
Posting this new blog
After too long that I haven’t posted nothing here
Here is me
Me facing my fear
And letting it go
Cause why not?
Who cares 😉
